One more thing to shame people for.

One more thing to shame people for.

“……Because I post about how much I love my boyfriend on facebook, that makes it fake? Because I post that I make him dinner, that makes me a phony? If I don’t post about our fights that makes me a liar?

I have a different idea.

What if I really do love him and want the whole world to know it? What if that is because I am proud of him, of our relationship, and of the family we have built?
What if I want to spread positivity and show people that true love exists for everyone?….”

Read the full post at http://www.madidoesmotherhood.com/please-dont-shame-me-for-publicly-loving-my-boyfriend/

Advertisements
Love is a Choice

Love is a Choice

I know you’re thinking I’m going to talk about choosing your sexual orientation or choosing who you marry.  Sorry about your luck, nothing quite that interesting.

I in fact believe that love itself is a choice.  I don’t believe you choose who you fall in love with or when it happens, I do however believe that staying in love and making love work are choices that you and your partner make,.

I choose to love Mr. F.  I choose to love him when he leaves the toilet seat up.  I choose to love him when he forgets to throw away his trash.  I even choose to love him when he forgets to buy me Christmas presents.  I choose to love him because I didn’t choose to fall in love with him.

And he chooses to love me when I’m too tired to walk the dog.  He chooses to love me when I complain about the extra pounds I’ve gained since the baby.  He even chooses to love me when I whine because I have a simple head cold.

We choose to love through dirty diapers, spit up, and sick kids.

The choice we make every day to love each other is not simple.  Its making a choice to forgive and sympathize.  Its making a choice to begin every day with a kiss and to never go to bed angry.  Its making a choice to surprise each other even when its something that seems small.  Its giving up on battles that seem insignificant just so that the other person comes out happy.

Love is hard work.  It is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Its definitely the messiest thing I’ve ever done.  There are fighting words, and lost hours, hurt feelings, and eyes filled with tears.  But I will continue to make the choice to love him until the day that I die, because doing life with him is worth every hardship and more.

I will continue to make this choice because even when I am upset over a fight we had, he is my person.  He is my person who will pick me up and dust me off and put me right back on that shelf looking good as new.

Love is a choice, and I make the right one every single day.

His and hers // Mine and Ours

His and hers // Mine and Ours

Separate bank accounts or joint bank accounts, or should you do separate bank accounts until you’re married and then switch to joint bank accounts?  And what about everything else??

Is it his car or yours? Does it belong to both of you?? And if you answer that question with a yes, is it really in both of your names??

I work retail and every time a couple comes up to check out and one of them says something along the lines of, “I can pay if you want,” or “are you paying for this or am I?” I begin to listen more closely to see if I can find any clues as to what their relationship is.  If I find out their married it amazes me!

Why does it matter who pays??

you’re married.

Isn’t everything OURS in marriage?

Hell, everything is ours in my relationship.

I fully respect everyone’s own relationship feelings.  I also understand doing things to help build credit, or for tax purposes, etc.  But the way many people treat it is like its his money vs hers.

The other day my man called me and asked if he could buy a car from his friend.  It was a car we KNEW ran well and only one of our cars was currently working.  We needed a second working car the price was right.  We discussed it and decided that we would buy this car and fix up at least one of the two we have that don’t work.  We would then decide what to sell and what to keep.  So we withdrew the money from our joint account and he bought the car.  Easy enough, right?

We have NEVER worried about what belongs to who, but we do have cars that we each drive more than the other (his and hers).  So when HE was the one getting the new car while mine was less than desirable and I am the one always toting around the kids I told him that my only stipulation was that occasionally we switch cars for a day so that I am not ALWAYS stuck driving the honda.  He agreed.

Two days later I told him I may need to switch cars on Saturday so that I could drive both kids along with my nephew around.  A huge fight ensued, during which he told me that it was “his car,” and that I was not allowed to borrow it.

That was the absolute first time over the course of our relationship that I had felt as though I had screwed myself by having no separate money or property.

The reality was that it IS HIS CAR.  HIS NAME is on the title, and I have no legal ownership.

We worked it out, but it got me wondering… is it better to keep everything separate?

I still think the way we do things works, it shows our undying faith that we will be together forever and it shows a complete trust in one another.  

I’m wondering what others think?? Feedback is appreciated :))