My boyfriend has literally never babysat his children. 

My boyfriend has literally never babysat his children. 

Seriously. Not even once. 

How terrible is that? 

A few weeks ago my friend and I were talking and she asked, “Is (mr. F) babysitting tonight?” And I kindly responded with, “yes.”  But the more I thought about it the more frustrated I become with that question, because I realized that my response was a lie.  

He’s never babysat. Not when I’m working and he has the day off, and not on the very rare occasion that I get to venture off with my friends. I never ask him to babysit and he never offers. 

You see, Mr. F doesn’t babysit because you can’t babysit your own kids. You can play with them, you can cuddle them, you can care for them, and you can even watch them, but you definitely can not babysit them. 

No one ever calls me to ask if I can hang out by saying, “Hey can you hang out or do you have to babysit the girls tonight?”  

Mr. F never asks me to babysit so he can go to work. 

Our kids are OUR responsibility, not MINE. WE made the baby, I didn’t do that all on my own, and I do not have to care for her all on my own. 

Let’s make this clear, Mr. F does not expect me to care for them on my own, but that is the implication outsiders make when they refer to him caring for his kids as “babysitting.”

I don’t get my panties bunched over simple comments very often. I don’t expect everyone to understand or respect the idea of an equal partnership. Actual, in many ways our relationship is very traditional. I take care of the majority of things around the house (although he does help a lot), and I take on most of the responsibilities of cooking and caring for the kids while he’s at work, and that is OK with me. But, please do not mistake our traditional-ish lifestyle with one in which he is somehow free of fatherly responsibility. That is the implication you make when you refer to himself caring for his own children as “babysitting.”


One thought on “My boyfriend has literally never babysat his children. 

  1. Here, here! Cheers to this! I couldn’t respect–or agree with–your argument more. Sometimes, I don’t even like the expression “watching the baby.” When someone asks me if my husband, who works nights and PARENTS during the day, is “watching the baby,” I ask them, “Why? Is she going to do a trick.”

    But I’m a word nerd so the verb “watching” doesn’t cut it for me. But you’re right; good dads AREN’T just babysitters.

    Liked by 1 person

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